Xfresh Archive: Ophami-lympics!

Location: Bouncing in giant hamster balls all around Ophie's Cerebral Cortex
Mood-of-the-day: Celebrating Insanity

Laaa~dies and gentlemen! Let's forget about the usual mumblings of this 'ere gal's daily timeline events and one-side opinions so we can all join hands in the spirit of competition! What? No! We're not talking about the overly budgeted, superbly bombastic and still in maintenance Greece's Olympics! No fellow bloggers, we at the Suvon Reality crew are talking about Ophami-lympics!

Yes! Don't YOU, have experienced something at home that require so much physical workload and mental Zen that is the envy of health trainers everywhere? Well duh, what am I saying? Of course you do, yes, yes, yes! And at Ophie's House are special events that are held EVERY DAY with everybody having a chance to hold great titles, break records and win!

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Event: Ass-Cake Bake

Current record-holder and participant: My lil' bro! (432751 seconds and counting...)
Previous record-holder: My dad (Bathroom break time limit exceeded)

This event is to test the endurance of keeping your BUTT at ONE PLACE at the LONGEST TIME. You are allowed to do anything within arm's reach, remote control, eat a snack or two and all the Astro you can have but you're not allowed to lift your posterior at all. This event started since the TV was brought upstairs.

Event: Water Box

Current record-holder: My dad (In his Break-the-Box-with-a-Sledgehammer-Freestyle)
Previous record-holder: My dad (In his Building-the-Box-with-Love-Freestyle)

And onto the water sports! This original piece combines all the attributes of weight lifting, shot precision and gymnastics grace to create a one-of-a-kind event! Music added to the effect and shall be counted. As you can see, the previous winner won with a complementary Frank Sinatra's "I did it My Wa~aaay."

Event: Jungle Jim

Current record-holder: Patchy the House Cat (bringing home a twitching half-dead bird)
Previous record-holder: Dusty the Mixed Persian (failed in frog capture)

The 'Jim' in the Jungle Jim sport can be anything and anyone in particular. The trick is that it's a capture and not-sure-if-can-release-it into the home with style and grace and as minimal damage as possible. Points are awarded to the species type of 'Jim'. The closer to a mammal, the higher the score.

Event: Doom Room

Current record-holder: Me (getting lost and surviving 4 days and 4 nights before succumbing to diseases)
Previous record-holder: None (Only 5 had ever dared to compete and all were declared missing)

Lastly is the most terrifying one of all, Doom Room. This perpetually dark interior has been a haunted, hazardous place and was declared unsafe for any category, until recently. This is where no light can ever shine through and once anyone with a soul get to the first left bend, an evil so great can be felt and drives them away. It had been deemed a gateway downstairs to Helldom, which makes it such a cool thing to do it!

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And so come on over to this prestigious, once in an imaginary life span opportunity to cheer for your favorite normal, boring, everyday-you-see-them couch potatoes! Tickets are sold at every major Mouses' Mousehole, open 2 minutes a day at prices ranging from a cheesecake to a CIA bank account.

Signed: *Ophie, this entry is brought to you by the Egos of E. Diot, Balance, Reason, Negligence and Stupidity (whee~eee~eee!)